This book is my favorite charity. It is now in its second printing, and I'd be happy to send you one if you thought you'd read it. Or you can hear it as an audiobook (free).
It very easily leads you through ways to find for yourself that life is full of meaning, ways that you can prove to yourself the world is spiritually alive and communicating with you.
Email me and ask about it: <firstname.lastname@example.org>